What I mean by value for value

Value for value begins with a simple recognition: the other person has a life of their own. So do I.

In business, the practical questions follow naturally. What are you offering? What am I offering? Why should either of us want the exchange? What have we each agreed to deliver? A sound relationship can answer those questions without embarrassment.

Money is one form of value. Thought, competence, honesty, trust and opportunity are others. A useful contribution may be an idea that saves months of work or the judgment to say that a plan makes no sense before we spend money proving it.

In personal life, the values are often less measurable and no less real. Affection, laughter, admiration, intellectual companionship and the pleasure of another person's company matter to me. I do not need an invoice to recognise them.

Generosity belongs here too. I may choose to give because I value the person, the purpose or the happiness the gift creates. The choice is mine. A demand made through guilt has an entirely different character.

I want relationships in which people are glad they chose each other. Where respect is supported by conduct, promises mean something, and neither person is expected to disappear into the needs of the other.

Bring something worth offering. Recognise what you receive. Keep the exchange voluntary, honest and alive.